I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
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