So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
