He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize
