Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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