love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
