hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
