I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Randomize
