I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
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