Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
