Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
