Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
