Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
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