If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Randomize
