I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize