I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
