so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
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