Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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