I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
