Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
