and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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