first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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