I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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