I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
