So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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