YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
