His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
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