I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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