dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
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that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
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