Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
