I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
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Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
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I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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