so let's talk penis.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Randomize
