i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Randomize
