It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
