For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
