Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Randomize
