he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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