my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
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