i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
