i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
