you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
