I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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