i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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