you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize