If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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