He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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