Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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