omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
