barbara walters just said penis...
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
