I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
