Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
