I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize