who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
