at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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