You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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