Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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