how can u be prego again
I think I died a long time ago.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
