I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
