So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
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