My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
