were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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