I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
