so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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