I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize